Candy mountain
by Loaded Faint Of hearts
Summary: Kyuubi thinks he's in 'Charlie the Unicorn', Itachi thinks his boyfriend needs medical attention, Mr Roary just wants to have an Adventure. Kyu is sick, how will Itachi cope with a delirious boyfriend. Gift fic for Jayden Nara M/M
1. Chapter 1

**16th June 2011**

**Gift Story For Jayden Nara, who recently has been quite sick (and is at present still geting over her sickiness). Now as someone who has had experince trying to look after fever ravaged people, this story is writen with some authority. Though; advice, critisism and sugestions will be appreciated. Also please note that my spelling is not up to scracth in this piece, please advise of any mistakes you spot! You don't need to have read Jayden's story to appreciate this. **

_**Disclaiming disclaimer: this short story is a side shot of; Jayden Nara's Fanfiction, tittled, 'This Is Not A Game'. This is, in turn, is based (solely fan made) on the anime Naruto Shippuden. The characters in this story belong to Masashi Kishimoto and TV tokyo. The Character re-adjustments belong to Jayden Nara. The Character and story, further, developments belong to me. Neither Miss Nara nor I gain any finacial benifit from these fanfictions, these are purely for fun. Do not sue. Or you will be subjected to the rath of the slimey snuffs!**_

**Itachi's Point of view (for entire story)**

****U.U** These are page breaks, new scene indicators**

I am at work.

I shouldn't be at work, I should be on the other end of the telephone, with Kyuubi, looking after him. Not here in this wretched office worring myself sick.

He's coughing, I can hear it in the background of mine and Sasu's conversation.

"He's not too bad now Itachi," My little brother tells me. I only feel guilt,

"the coughing is driving him crazy, but he's not dying-"

A particularly nasty coughing fit from the red haired man in the background, begs to differ.

"Sasuke," I begin to say. I can't leave work right now, the press is outside, waiting to be briefed about the latest security threats against me and my little brother. But if I can't be there with Kyu...

"Sasuke, call Kakashi to go home and make sure everythings alright until I can get away, it'll only be for an hour," I flip open my planner to look up the silver haired man's number

"He did say he was willing to help in any-"

"_NO_." Kyu's voice is croaked and raw. I presume that I am on loud speaker, if he can hear what I just said.

"_I don't (cough cough) need a baby (cough) sitter (cough cough)-"_ I cringe at the sound of his coughing fit, it sounds so painful.

"Kyu, Sasuke needs to get to his exams in 20 minutes and Naru's not available, I wouldn't suggest Kakashi if there were anyone else. I'll be home in an hour, I promise, it's just untill then."

"well-" "NO!" _"No! (cough)"_ Kyu and I both cut Sasuke off before he can say it.

_"You're not missing (cough cough, rattle?) your exam just 'cos i got a cold!"_

"He's right Sasu, you need to get to your exam, I'll call Kakashi."

I can hear my fox grumbling back at the house, it sounds like those two are having a private conversation, muffled by a hand/shirt/pillow?

"Hn." Sasuke says into his phone, after a few moments.

"Yes little brother?" I say back, a little bitchy. Well, I am rather stressed right now, and I don't appreciate being left out of the loop.

"Okay, heres the deal," The spawn of emo starts, (gosh I'm in a bad mood, I realy need to see my Kyu bear), "Kyu will take his new medication, and lie on the couch for the hour that I am not here, until you arrive, and will not move an inch, and will promise to call you if there is an emergancy,"

I sigh heavliy, while my little brother continues to retell the sexy foxes demands.

"and in return, you will stop stressing, make the public speach, and get home with out calling in the navey, army, and airforce for just a stupid cough. Deal?"

Kyu knows me too well, he knows that I'm worried, and that I won't think of anything else utill I see him with my own two eyes. Since the security breaches, I've been so tens. It's just that, I can't loose him...

"Tachi?"

"Alright, I concede to this, deal. BUT, you are not to move **ONE INCH**, you hear me Kyu, and if you start to cough and can't get enough air then-"

...Dialtone...**Oh. .** He did not just hang up on me!

That Kyuubi. He knew I would prattle on and work myself up and worry. Ha! So he's signled Sasu to hang up on me.

I've heard that two people, when close, can be on the same wave length, but it sure is anonying sometimes.

I can hear Kyuubi's voice scolding me, in his deep, jovial voice, 'Will you stop your worring already! Your worse than my little brother is about Sasuke! You need to learn to not stress so much, it's not good for you Tachi.'

I can't help but have a small smile on my face, as I make my way done to the confernece room. In only half a year, he's become the little voice in my head.

**U.U**

Since the latest security breaches from Orochimaru's cronies, our little family has migrated to kakashi's quaint little cottage. It's a little way out of the city, and too a passerby, it looks inocent enough. But in reality, it could stand for the safest house in the country, with security cameras everywhere, finger print, eye scanning, voice recognition technology. The whole works. No one goes in or out of this place, without all of us knowing about it.

I was suprised by the amount of precautions used by a seemingly humble, quiet, lazy man. But when we turned up on his door step, after being electronicaly alerted that Kyu and Naru's apartment had been broken into, I was relieved by the 'over-the-top' security measures. It was one of few things that make me feel safe here, though with everything that's been happening lately, I can't deny I'm on edge.

Leaving Kyuubi here by himself, whilst still ill, has not helped my nerves.

I put my bags down on the hallway table and kick off my shoes quickly, I know that i won't calm down until I see kyu's face, until I know that he's alright.

I don't need to look for him long, I see him standing with his back to me in the kitchen. Wearing two tea towels, notted at their corners to make a skirt/loincloth?

Thats...very hot.

**U.U**

My first thought is; thats a very delicious sight to come home from work to. My second thought; he dosn't look well, even if he's humming happily. He's swaying and looks clammy. Third thought; he's wearing tea towels, what kind of drugs did Sasu give him? After thought of this, where would Sasuke get drugs from? Another thought that i have, is that he's not on the couch where he promised. But my next thought, is, that he is swaying, and falling, and never has an Uchiha moved so fast.

I smooth my hand over his shockingly bright red hair, while straightening us both up to a stand. Now I notice that his hair is slightly damp, and his shoulders are moist and covered in dropplets of swet. He looks as though he's just had a shower, though from the sticky feel of his skin and the smell, I know it's sweat, I know he's not well.

I push the spikey bangs out of his face, he's out cold. He's heavy, but i manage to carry him up the stairs to our room. My mind is reeling, I'm no longer miffed that he moved from the couch, now I'm in overprotective crazy boyfriend mode.

I tuck him into bed (after much effort), and now he looks so voulnable. Like anyone could come in here, at this moment and hurt him, or take him away from me.

I leave him in his bed, and walk half way down the stairs, and sit. It hasn't been that long since we first met, since our first kiss, sincer our first...He's become my whole world, well, asides from my little devil of a brother. And even Naru too, he's become important to me, in such a short time. I almost feel as though I'm betraying the memory of my parents, by building myself a new family. Well, that's just stupid, I know Mum would be thrilled that Kyu and I are finally together. As for Father. Well I think he would be proud of how Sasuke and I have picked ourselves up after these hard times and shown the world how Uchiha's do it.

**U.U**

"Tachieeeeeeeeeeeee!" Oh dear god! I may or may not have just had a heart attack. How can such a sick, clumsy man sneak up on me like that (Uchiha pride out the window).

He's still wearing the tea towels, but it's the serious look on his face that has me worried.

"Kyu, whats wrong, why are you-" He cuts me off by standing up to his full hight (still swaying a tad). "You has to come with us Tachieeeee." It's a serious tone, but his words make me cringe (does no one know correct grammar these days). "whats going on Kyu, Go where? Has there been another Breach?"

I'm starting to get worried now, did I leave the front door unlocked, did someone follow me? Are we in danger? My heart rate skyrockets, but it stops once the next sentance leaves my sexy fox's mouth.

**"WE"RE GOING TO CANDY MOUNTAIN TACHIEEEEEEEEEE! COME WITH US!"**

That...is not what I was expecting. Not in the least.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two **

**Itachi's Point of view (for entire story)**

****U.U** These are page breaks, new scene indicators**

"Come to **CANDY MOUNTAIN** with us **TACHIEEE**!",

"Us?"

"Yes Tachieee, me and Mr Roary!" The sexy (but high), redhead produces Sasuke's childhood toy dino from under his arm,

"What-why do you have Mr Roary?" "Sasu left him in charge, now he wants us to go to **CANDY MOUNTAIN** with him **TACHIEEE,** come to candy mountain, it'll be an **ADVENTURE**!"

Kyu is holding Mr Roary up next to his face, which is noteably adorable, but I can't help noticing how pale he looks in contrast to Mr Roary's green body.

"No," I say firmly, but as gently as I can. I know he's tripping right now but i can't let him get any sicker.

Kyuubi and Mr Roary gasp. I mean Kyu gasps.

"You're too sick Kyu, you need to get back to bed, I'm Calling Doctor Shizune."

"But but, we have to go to candy mountain. It's a wonderful place, with Candy, and dreams, and-"

I cut him off quickly, I love him dearly, but the man is delirious. "Kyu this (sigh), Candy Mountain will still be there when you get better, okay, so lets go back to bed and wait for Shizune San to get here, ne?"

His eyes just lit up, "Shizune Chan should come too!"

This is insane, but well, I'll play along if it's gona get him to rest.

"Then we should go have a rest while we wait for her. Then maybe later, we can all go to...Candy mountain, together."

He's not buying it. He looks so sad, like a scolded puppy, even Mr Roary looks sad...

I did not just think that.

"Tachieee dosn't want to go to candy mountain with us, Tachieee dosn't love us anymore"

"what?" Talk about a guilt trip, those sad eyes, that quivering lip! I'm helpless to resist.

"kyu," I step forward and wrap my arms up (damn his tallness), around him, to let him know I'm here. And to keep him from falling over.

"I do love you, I would do anything for you. But you aren't well, I'm so worried," I rest my head on his shoulder, he's still so shakey.

"I love you so much." I say again, I hope he knows how much...

I now find a sad looking green dino in my line of vision, it tilts it's head to the side.

"Mr Roary too?"

"yeah, I still love Mr Roary too."

"Then why won't you come to Candy Mountain with us?" He's just too cute now, my Uchiha resolve is faultering. But at least these two are happy again.

"It won't take long! We will be back and in bed before shizune Chan gets here! C'mon Tachieee, come to candy mountain with us!"

"Well, how long is this going to take?" I'm very skeptical, but willing to humor the duo.

"Mr Roary thinks about twenty minutes, **BUT I THINK WE CAN DO IT IN FIFTEEN**!"

I sigh (in denied defeat).

"okay okay, let's go to candy mountain then, but then we have to rest, alright?"

Kyu and Mr Roary cheer and celibrate-I mean Kyuubi cheers and celibrates.

(figurative facepalm)

**U.U**

So now we're all walking, slowly and carefuly, down the stairs. Kyu is now in a pair of boxes and a dressing gown (it is not appropriate to journey to candy mountain wearing teatowels, apparently).

I've only just (slaps self) noticed that he isn't coughing anymore, which is a miricle, he's been sick for a while now, and I can't belive I only just noticed his improvement.

The medication Sasu gave him must have realy worked a treat, even if it has given him the mind of a six year old child.

"We're going to Cany Mountain! We're going to **Candy Mountain**!"

I'm having trouble keeping the smile off my face.

"I should find this anoying, but it's very difficult."

"Thats because you're on your way to **Candy Mountain**! And you're **UBER** excited!"

.

Finally we arrive at the bottom of the stairs, and I just smile at the Red headed (man?).

"Yeah, must be"

The happy fox holds Mr Roary up to my face and makes him mock kiss me on the cheek,

he also sways a bit (Kyuubi, not the dino), So I hold him up, then I give our green friend a "thanks" and give him a kiss back (...and then I menataly slap myself).

Doctor Shizune replys to the text I sent her, whilst Kyu was geting some clothes on (damn clothes), with; 'on my way, will be a little while though', I text her back saying; 'thank you'

kyu reads this over my shoulder, and tells me and Mr Roary *solomly*; "We can bring her back some candy."

"Yeah. now, which way are we going"

(I already have an inkling as to where we might be headed, I'm thinking it's mine and Naruto's secret stash of goodies in the kitchen.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

**Itachi's Point of view (for entire story)**

****U.U** These are page breaks, new scene indicators **

Oooooookay, we've (me and kyu...and Mr Roary) just walked PAST the kitchen and secret stash of all things sweet, now we're at the back door of the cotage, and I'm a bit concerned. Though these two seem to know where they're going.

My delirious fox now has Mr Roary inside the front of his dressing gown, with his head poking out. So he too can see and help navigate our 'adventure'.

Once I've finished punching in the several codes and security passes, Kyu grabs ahold of my shoulders and shout in my ear (quite loudly);

"**OPEN THE DOOR TACHIEEEEEEE, BUT BE CAREFUL OF THE ISPINDY WOMPS**"

"The... what?"

As I opens the screen door, a very small spider lazily crawls across It's web, from one side of the door frame to the other. To get away from us, I presume. It dosn't seem to be in a particular hurry, in fact, it seems about as motivated as the owner of this cotage.

I watch the spider for a second, wondering if it's what Kyu and Mr Roary were warning me about, when it stops (appearing to not care anymore about escape).

"Ah **NoOOOO**ooooss! The **ISPINDY WOMP** has **SEEN** us! run away Tachieeeee, run **AWAAAAAAAAAAAAA**y!"

"um, okay." So I duck the spider web and walk through the door way to Kakashi's back yard, with Kyu and Mr Roary attached to my back.

"**YAAAAAY** we made it past the **ISPINDY**!"

"Ah hu, so are we at candy mountain yet?"

Kyu scoffs and looks down at Mr Roary while lifting the dino's head to look at him "He thinks we're at Candy Mountain already! This guys a noob."

I feel myself sweatdrop. My boyfriend just called me a noob. Oh dear god, now Mr Roary is nodding and agreeing with him.

The red haired man turns to the garden path, "First we have to cross the bridge of death! **OOOOOOH** the bridge of deaaaaath!" He says with dramatical suspense.

I notice that he is actualy looking quite fearful and is it just me or is Mr Roary shaking in fear?

** O. 0 **

"**AHHHH**! the Slimey Snuffs have surrounded us!"

Snails, there are a lot of snails, it rained last night, and we're standing about 8 steps up the garden path, and yes, to a delirious (but cute) fox, it would appear that the snails might have us surrounded. I'm getting a bit imapitent with this...what ever the hell this is... so I resort to flicking the snails out of our path with my boot (Amari of course).

Kyu is clinging to my arm, bouncing on his feet, cheering my victory "he saved us, he saved us, did you see that Mr Roary? he totaly smited those Slimey Snuffs! wait till Sasu and Naru hear about this!"

**.GOD**. It has just occured to me what people would think if they could see us now, or if they heard about this later,

"Erh, is it realy a good idea to tell them about this?" Kyu gasps (and for a secound i fear that the Slimey Snuffs have returned) "You're right, we cant let them know we went to Candy Mountain! Its gota be a secret" Kyu now puts his finger to his lip and shares some private silent communion with his prehistoric counterpart.

I am relieved, that neither or them will tell anyone about this.

"Okay," I say, just to break up the little union meeting, happening around my neck.

"Where to now?"

**U.U**

So we travel along the garden path a little more (its only about 5 metres long, so our journey is fairly short), Kyu points out any note worthy monsters to me, for example; the very scary **Wongawonga** vine (also known as Jasmine), that will strangle poor travelers to death and must be ducked, the **Saber** Toothed Magpie, that must be passed silently, to avoid detection, and lets not forget the poison parsley plant, wich according to our dino friend, will leap out of the ground and **eat your face off**. Scary stuff.

I hate to admit this, even to myself, but this is kind of, well...fun.

If kyuubi wasnt so sick, and I weren't so worried about his health and mental state of mind, this would be quite hilarious. I bet Naruto would love to see his brother like this, those two would have a blast. As for my little brother, well, bless him for drugging my love, and even if he is off in his own little world, at least he's stoped coughing.

U.U

Right now, Kyu and his lean green sidekick, are crouched down at the end of the garden path (yes we made it to the end) inspecting a leaf, which is apparently serving as a map.

Kakashi's back garden pretty much ends with the path, beyond that, there's just a few metres of unhealthy looking lawn, a wood pile, then his backfence. I'm not sure if Candy Mountain realy is in this backyard, though I supose I shouldn't make assuptions, I am not the one with the map after all.

"Hhhhhhhhhhhhmk!" Kyu seems to have decifered the map and is now in the know, as to what direction we must now travel forth in.

He's standing up, with my bodily support, and dusting Mr Roary's feet and tail off.

"Okay, so, we must travel due East until we see-" There is a dramatic pause (even the Wongawonga vine ceases its deadly rusttling).

**"THERE IT IS!" **My red Fox's face is adorned with shear joy and wonder.

I fail to comprehend why.

**"IT'S CANDY MOUNTAIN! WE MADE IT TACHIIEEEEEE!"**

And...so we have.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four the end**

**Itachi's POV**

****T.T** (Page break)**

It's mid afternoon now, the sun is angled at just the right position, so that the shadows cast by Kakashi's cottage make the (living?) lawn and back fence a back drop for a shadowed mountain range.

Well I'll be fucked.

There it is. A mountain, I don't see any candy, but I'm not going to spoil Kyu's moment of glory.

"DO YOU SEE IT **MR ROARY**? DO YOU SEE IT **TACHIEEEE**?"

"Yep." What else am I suppose to say? You're delirious? It's JUST a shadow? You're the most gorgeous thing I've ever laid eyes on?

Nope this day has been too stressful, and has turned into too much fun to burst this bubble now. I've gotten to spend some time with the man of my dreams (albeit he's not entirely himself, but still), In a way, I have found my candy mountain, my Kyu candy mountain. I'm so glad i took the afternoon off to look after him.

"LET'S GO!" He's taken my hand in his, and we're walking towards the backfence, and isn't it wonderful, the feeling of his hand in mine, no stress about our family, or caring if someone might see us, or what our realtionship should realy be defined as. Who cares, we found candy mountain, and we'll be damned if we don't scale it's peak.

Actualy, how do you scale a shadow mountain?

"Let's sit and bask in the **WONDERS** of **CANDY MOUNTAIN** Tachieeee!"

Kyu's so happy, smiling, and he pulls me down to sit on the wood pile next to him, with Mr Roary now standing ontop of a particularly large log in front of us.

We sit, basking.

**U.U**

Theres a bit of dabbled light, coming all the way from the trees out the front of the cottage, it covers us and shimmers, it's almost hypnotic. I put my arm around my fox, and pull him into a hug, his face shows signs of being tired, and ready for sleep.

"Now we can have a rest, ne?"

"Yeah. Tachiee?" He asks, looking up at me.

"Hm?"

"It's gona be alright." I smile at him, "Yeah. We'll be alright."

** 3 3 **

The Light, coming through the trees out front, make strange patterns for us while we sit, enjoying the afternoon together. Kyu tells me in a sleepy voice that one particular ray of light must be the Banana King (as you see, it resembles a banana). I'm too content to find fault in this statement, so I salute the Bananna King, which makes Kyuubi giggle.

Mr Roary has a few patterns of light on his head and tail, Kyu and I tell each other how that must mean he's been blessed by candy mountain, and that his fellow dino-kind will hold him in high regard.

"Hmmm, I wish we had some candy." Kyu says, eyeing the mountain ranged fence behind us.

"Nyeah." I snuggle a bit closer to him, my arm around his back moves down around his middle. I feel something rustle in his gown pocket.

"I wonder if Shizune Chan would like to meet the Banana King? What do you think Tachiee? Tachiee?" He looks at me queerily, as I rummage through his pocket. A Wrapper, another, and another.

"Candy." I whisper, he gives me another strange look.

I pull out a handful of cholocate eclairs from the gown pocket, and then another handful. Kyu looks confused, then suprised, then over the moon.

"Ha, candy." I half expected another outburst of cheering from him, but he's too tired and worn out now, so he just smiles, and excepts one happily.

We both pop an eclair into our mouths, and I place one in front of Mr Roary too.

I hear the front door open and close, but for the first time since staying with Kakashi's cottage, I don't feel that sense of alarm, that it could be someone trying to hurt my family, I know it's just Shizune San. She will find us soon enough.

"HUUU!" I swing my head to look at what has startled Kyuubi, only to find him grinning up at me again.

He points to me, I don't understand, so he puts a hand on my chest. The ray of light, shaped like a banana is now across my body, the trees must have moved in the wind, or we've been out here long enough for the sun to change it's position.

"You're the Banana King, Tachiee!" He whispers to me in awe.

I must say, I too and rather stocked about this.

"I'm the mother fucking Banana King!"


End file.
